Surrounded
by roseXstars31
Summary: Hoshina Utau has always been surrounded by people, but she still feels alone in the world. However, she learns that being alone and feeling alone are two entirely different things as she finds love and advice in the most unexpected of places.


**Heyy! This Kutau fanfic is dedicated to one of my best friends, MoonPalace. She's a Kutau fan, and since Kutau is my second favorite Shugo Chara couple, I decided to write a Kutau oneshot. There is a bit of Rimahiko in it—I couldn't resist! XD**

**Read and review, and remember: I do not own Shugo Chara!**

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><p>Hoshina Utau had always been surrounded by people. Her fans, thousands of them cheering for her at her concerts. The people she worked with to produce her music. The students of the school that she went to. The customers at the ramen shop. The Guardians: Tadase, Amu, and she couldn't remember the names of the others. When Utau went to one of Kukai's soccer games, there were always so many people yelling and jumping around her. All the commotion always made her head hurt, and Utau found herself wondering again and again why she had bothered to come.<p>

But Utau still felt the emptiness in her heart. She was still alone in the world, even though she was busy with her career and talked to people every day. There wasn't one person who knew her, the real her. There wasn't a single soul whom she could talk to freely, someone who would say, "Utau! What's wrong?" when she was down.

There was one person whom Utau was willing to be herself with. Her brother, Ikuto.

But Ikuto wasn't interested in talking to her. He spent all of his free time stalking Amu, and when he did spend time with Utau, he always stood at least a foot away from her, facing the wall or some other kind of structure.

Yes, Hoshina Utau was surrounded by people. But she couldn't open up to any of them.

**…**

Utau sipped her soda, her dark sunglasses shading her violet eyes from the sun. Her long blond pigtails stuffed under a dark blue cap, she walked across the street, hearing murmurs about her.

"Is that Hoshina Utau?"

"I can't tell."

"It's not Utau. Utau has much better style than that."

Utau scowled at the last comment. Yes, she had sacrificed fashion for staying incognito, but that didn't mean that random people on the street could comment on her deliberately poor clothing choices.

Anyways, if the press knew that Hoshina Utau was wearing a red hoodie, stain-covered jeans, and scuffed sneakers in public…Utau shuddered at the thought. She could imagine the headlines. "Pop star Hoshina Utau: destined for fashion fallouts?" It was too terrible to think about.

Utau stepped into a park and sat on a wooden bench. She could hear the exclamations and laughter of children from a distance. They sounded like they were having fun.

Staring the flowers blooming nearby, she removed the cap from her head and shook her pigtails out. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and felt her thoughts wander, separate and condense.

Who was her friend? Utau didn't have any friends at her school. At her high school, she was Akami Miyuki, the girl with brown hair (wig) and amber eyes (contacts), the one who never talked. And when she did, she spoke in a voice that was rough and sharp, unlike the smooth, melodious voice of Hoshina Utau. Naturally, Miyuki-chan was unpopular and shunned.

It wasn't like Utau wanted to be friends with any of those kids anyways. She detested the girls, brainless and beauty-less, yet they spent all their time putting on makeup and gossiping. She held only disgust for the boys, idiots who held blank stares, their dull eyes only lighting up when the conversation turned towards sports, video games, or pretty girls.

Apart from her schoolmates, she really didn't know a lot of other people. There was Sanjo-san and the other people she worked with, but they were adults. They weren't teenagers that Utau could bond with.

There were the Guardians. Tadase was always busy; beside s, they had drifted away from each other when Utau had entered middle school. Amu—well, Hinamori Amu wouldn't understand how she felt. Yes, Amu used to be a loner, but now she always seemed to be surrounded by friends and family who cared about her and loved her. Utau supposed that Amu was her friend, but they weren't close friends. They never really talked to each other or hung out. And why would any of the Guardians spend time with her, when they had each other? They were a tightly woven group of friends, and Utau couldn't break into that circle. She wasn't one of them, no matter how many times Amu insisted that she was.

Her family? Some family she had. Ikuto—he lived a life that didn't include her. Her mother—she wasn't in very good health at the moment. Utau didn't want her condition to deteriorate just because her daughter had some selfish concerns. Her father—he was alive and somewhere in the world. Utau, Ikuto, and their mother knew that. But none of them bothered chasing after him.

A father who leaves his family and breaks it apart isn't worth going after.

"Hi!" Utau glanced up in surprise. The pink-haired girl grinned at the disguised blond. "Amu?"

Amu gestured to a group of people behind her. The Guardians. "We decided to come to the park today, because the weather's so nice!"

Utau nodded uncertainly, feeling awkward. She felt the curious gazes of the Guardians on her. Standing up, Utau stared every one of them right in the eye. "I don't know half of you kids," she said bluntly.

There was silence until a tall boy with long purple hair stepped forward. "I'm Fujisaki Nagihiko." Pointing to a peppy brunette, he introduced, "She's Yaya-chan." Nagihiko patted the head of the petite blond and said, "This is Rima-chan." He faced Utau again. "Nice to meet you, Hoshina-san."

Utau blinked. How did he know who he was? Amu was one thing, but she had never met this boy before. This irked her, as she was very proud of her disguise.

"Nagi's really good at acting and drama, so he can see past disguises and acts!" Amu said, seeming to read Utau's mind.

Rima coughed. "Acting and drama, my foot," Utau just barely heard her mutter. "Nagihiko's a crossdresser, that's why the he-she's so—"

"Rima? Did you say something?" Amu furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

Nagihiko laughed nervously. "She didn't say anything! Hehehe…right, Rima-chan?"

"Right!" Rima said in a cute voice. When Amu's back was turned, the small blond leaned up and whispered something in the tall boy's ear. Nagihiko sighed. "Fine, Rima-chan. I owe you a parfait."

"Don't call me Rima-chan! It's Mashiro-san to you." Rima shook her tiny fist at Nagihiko. Yaya laughed. "Rima-tan, when will you admit that you like Nagi?"

Nagihiko smirked. "Yes, _Rima-tan. _When will you admit that you're secretly in love with me?"

"When Yaya stops eating candy and Fujisaki becomes manly" was the stoic blond's emotionless answer.

Yaya faced Utau. "Utau-chii, don't listen to Rima-tan. She's in _denial." _Yaya said the last word in a sing-song tone. Utau wanted to laugh at the childishness of it all, but didn't. She only watched as Rima yelled at Yaya, with Nagihiko chuckling in the background.

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" Utau turned around and saw the reddish-brown haired thirteen year old boy running up to them. "My brothers made me go buy some stuff for them, and—" He only now saw Utau. "Pop star? What are you doing in that getup? Are you playing a hobo in a new movie?"

Utau bristled. "It's a _disguise_, Souma. I dressed this way on purpose, so I wouldn't be recognized and mobbed by fans." She caught sight of Kukai's dirt-encrusted trousers and ugly orange t-shirt. "What's _your _excuse for dressing badly?"

Kukai ran his fingers through his messy hair. "I had soccer practice today! And besides, everything else was in the wash. So it's not like I had a wide selection of clothes. Anyways, who cares about outfits?"

"Apparently, you do," Utau pointed out. "You're the one who noticed my horrible outfit in the first place."

Kukai had nothing to say to this.

**…**

"UTAU-CHIII!"Yaya's deafening scream completely and utterly destroyed Utau's eardrums. Yaya beamed at the older girl. "Utau-chii, come play with us!"

"No."

Yaya looked like she was about to burst into tears any second. "But…but why?" A tear rolled down her cheek.

Utau started panicking. "Okay, okay! I'll play with you guys…just, just don't cry!"

"Yay!" Yaya's crestfallen expression immediately cleared up and was replaced by her customary happy one. She tugged on Utau's sleeve, "Let's go!"

As Utau was dragged away, she mentally cursed herself for coming to the park in the first place.

Of all the places she could have gone to, she chose the place where a sugar-rush maniac, crossdressing purple-head, devilish midget, obsessive king, pink-haired heroine, and soccer kid were currently located.

"Yaya got Utau to play with us!" Yaya cheered, breaking Utau from her thoughts.

"Hoshina-san doesn't look very happy about that," Nagihiko wisely noted.

"Aw, come on, pop star! Have some fun!" Kukai grinned, his expression carefree.

"Whatever," Utau muttered. "What are we playing?"

"We're playing 'Bond With The Other Person'," Yaya said smugly.

"I thought we were playing tag or something," Amu murmured.

"What's 'Bond With The Other Person'?" Rima asked suspiciously. "I've never heard of it. Is it another game that you made up in five seconds, Yaya?"

"Yup!" Yaya said happily. "Everyone gets a partner! Amu-chii and Tadase, Rima-chii and Nagi, and Utau-chii and Kukai! And you go and 'bond' with your partner! That's how you play!"

Rima immediately began protesting, while Amu turned crimson and Utau stood in shock. There were many things the singer wanted to say, but all that came out was "Yaya, who's your partner?"

"Yaya doesn't have a partner! Yaya will oversee the game."

Amu, whose blush was still a brilliant red color, said the first thing on her mind: "Where did you learn the word 'oversee'?"

"NO! I WILL NOT BE PARTNERS WITH THE CROSSDRESSER!" Rima was still shrieking in the background.

Yaya ignored Rima. "Yaya learned the word from her tutoring with Kairi!"

"EHHH? Kairi came back?"

In the midst of the confusion, Kukai pulled Utau away. "Come on, pop star! This will be fun!"

"Fun? FUN? The hyper kid just made up a game that will probably end up with the blond chibi murdering everyone!" Utau raged.

"Calm down! Calm down," Kukai urged. "This happens all the time! We're all used to it."

"…"

"…Okay, let's change the topic. So, Utau, what's your favorite color?"

"Purple."

There was a long pause of silence. "Okay, Utau, then…uhh…"

"Souma?" Utau interrupted. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" Kukai placed his arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

Utau twiddled her fingers. "Souma…have you ever felt…alone in the world? Like, even though you're always surrounded by people, there's not a single person you trust fully or can talk to freely?"

Kukai frowned. "No…not really, why?"

Utau looked away. "No reason." Inside, she chided herself for asking. Souma, of all people! Why had she said that?

Kukai placed a hand on Utau's shoulder. "I've never really experienced it…but I know how it feels," he replied softly. "Like, uhh, when my fangirls all surround me…they're people, but they're not people I can bond with."

Utau narrowed her eyes. "That's not what I mean, and you know that."

"Okay, fine. So I don't really know what it's like to be alone in the world," Kukai sighed. "I have the Guardians and my team. They're my friends. Pop star, don't you have friends?"

"N-Not really," Utau whispered, her head bowed.

Kukai's emerald green eyes widened. "How do you not have friends, pop star? Amu's your friend. I'm your friend."

"Y-You are?" Utau looked at the boy in wonder.

"Of course I'm your friend. I'll be there for you, when you need me!" Kukai flashed a thumbs-up. "Because we're on the same team!"

"Team?" Utau stared at her hands. "I've never been part of a team. I've always worked alone and done everything by myself."

The soccer star smiled, not his normal cheerful smile but a smile filled with wisdom and caring. "Your team isn't the people who work with you and are familiar with you and see you all the time. Your team is the people who care about the real Utau, and not the famous Hoshina Utau.

"I'll always be a part of your team, pop star."

Utau stared at him in astonishment. "You'll, you'll always be a part of my team?"

"Yeah. So don't ever think that you're alone in the world! Lots of people care about you and love you. Your family. Your friends. We'll always stay on your team."

Utau let a tiny smile flicker across her lips. "My team," she whispered to herself. "Hey, Kukai?"

"What?" The boy was mystified, as Utau had never called him by first name before.

"Thanks." And before Utau could stop herself, she kissed him on the cheek. Kukai turned red and Utau turned around to leave.

"Hey, pop st—Utau, where are you going?" Kukai called after her, his face still crimson. "Aren't you staying?"

"No. I'm going home," Utau replied with a determined edge to her voice. "I have to talk to my mom and brother. They're…they're part of my team." She said the last sentence in a very small voice, so Kukai couldn't hear.

Utau smiled to herself as she walked away. _Hey, Kukai? You know what?_

_ I'll always be part of your team, too._

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><p><strong>Finished! Now, thank you to MoonPalace and the rest of my friends for being there to catch me when I fall, for being there for me. <strong>

**I'll always be a part of your team, every one of you(:**


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